| WHY |
[nov. 13e, 2005|09:35 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Hawksley Workmen | ] |
WHY? Why?? why???? FUCKING why? God was that a kick in the balls, and all I can think is why? I know life is unfair but my oh my was this a little too far! It actually hurts, and I don't even know how! Well, I am ready to break some fucking barriers, and rip off a few heads. |
|
|
| We are the women of sex and the city |
[sep. 21e, 2005|10:49 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Nel Cor piu non mi sento | ] |
Amandita is Miranda
Mawie is Carrie
Rosie is Charlotte
And I am Samantha
P.S. I redid this friends shit now that I have some... and I agree...
What You Really Think Of Your Friends
|
Rosie is your soulmate. |
| You truly love Miah. |
| You consider Mawie your true friend. |
| You know that Michelle is always thinking of you. |
| You'll remember Amandita for the rest of your life. |
| You secretly think Marcel is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. |
| You secretly think that Ralph is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. |
| You secretly think that Kelby is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Kelby changes lovers faster than underwear. |
| You secretly think David is shy and nonconfrontational. And that David has a hidden internet romance. |
|
|
|
| Raping innocence blind |
[aoû. 27e, 2005|05:23 am] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | determined | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Nirvana | ] |
I know he loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it... maybe no one does. |
|
|
| (pas de sujets) |
[aoû. 22e, 2005|11:16 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Once upon a december | ] |
I was saved by a psycho cab driver, and believe me so far Jesus hasn't done shit for me...
I'm tired of the lies, I'm tired of the fights,
I'm tired of worrying all night, I'm tired of the silence,
I'm tired of the fear, I'm tired of the loss
She is perfect... I am not, I won't even try to compete,
I'm in the shadows and can't find the light,
I wish I had hope, but I seem to have given up,
I hate my reflection, and imagine the person I pretend to be,
I miss so much and look forward to so little,
Oh how I need a way out, and every door is locked...
How can I be complimented so, and no one be attracted to me?
Probation, level 1, and an exit cue
But I can't give up, cause I'm her final hope |
|
|
| Wolf in sheep's clothing... |
[aoû. 14e, 2005|09:51 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Dashboard Lights | ] |
Many moons ago, when time seemed to move almost too slow, I fell into the an obvious trap, the wolf with a devilish smile had set, Little did I know and never did I wonder of the past he hid, or the pain which he would cause, that wolf you see in the mirror, one look into those dangerous eyes, that slit me like a thousand knives, and I was lost upon your bed, as you were lost inside your head, No one could ever set you free, when you yourself had lost the key, my wolf created his own captivity, now whom changed ... me, or he? I do not, nor will I ever know, but now I feel a hatred which could move a million mountains separate, and make a kitten roar... I wish to find that wolf's father and hurt it so it could never created such a beast again, a sonata of castration, from a rage of a romance that though never true was strong and pure ... but what one may wish, is never sure, when a part of me still wants to fall into the wolf's clever trap.
 |
|
|
| In and out of love again, I sure know how to choose em... |
[aoû. 7e, 2005|09:21 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | The Used | ] |
Tonight I say a final goodbye to a summer that has changed my life, it was incredible and I hope to look back on times like the ones I enjoyed in the past two months when I get older, and not the hell I faced before. It was short, but well lived, so w/e...
Yesterday was AMAZING, Warped with amandita and mawie! I feel bad because we walked 18 miles and missed the band marie was going to see (senses fail), and only saw the tail end of Amandita's sexy husbands show (Gerard Way, My chem.)... but those 30 seconds were well worth it to her, hehe! We spent some time walking, burning, sitting and keepin shop for random high men who wanted the jail bait, us... then saw the Offspring, my fav. it was flippin awesome, lol got stuck in the mosh pit and figured fuck it, knew every word, and the guy behind me wanted me to crowd serf, but I said no thanks, lmao... the only thing that sucked was this fricken weird ass bitch who was having monkey seizures, but Thais and amandita made-fun of her enough for it to be worth it, then Mxpx played and Marie once again joined us, as Adri randomly appeared ... cwazy ass shit mo fo, cwazy ass shit... then while waiting for Dropkick Murphy to play it started pooring and after the crowd went wild they still didnt play, then the mud war began, at first I hid with amandita and Mawie, but then I figured fuck it, if ya cant beat em join em, took my top off, which got a very healthy and fun reaction, and started throwin mud, oh yeah I'm a dirty girl hehe... I had to wash off in a freezing cooler but it was worth it... the night ended with sushi, and three very happy girls!
I was very happy to see Thais, Ilan, Shia, Adri, Sarai, lexi, and Big Show too
P.S. shopping with Shayne and my mama is funny as hell, and Sky High was shockingly really good
oh yeah, I'm stolen property according to virgin |
|
|
| Only time can tell, if you can ever go back.... |
[aoû. 1er, 2005|09:05 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Shakespears sister | ] |
While talking to a friend today, I realized that in the game of love where there never is a winner, it seem so simple and easy to get it right, but ppl can't do it, why is this? I have seen love in all shades and it always hurts... but I got a gift in the most unlikely way the other day. I learned who I really loved, though it's only a small handful of ppl, they are whom I trust with my life and will take a bullet for. They have proved themselves to me, and will forever hold a spot in my heart.
Moreover, why can't ppl come with disclaimers? Have a card they give out to all potential relationships/ fucks saying, hey I'man asshole, or hey I'm a slut, hey I have a g/f but want you in my pants tonight, or hey I'm a sweet shy girl,etc.? Why does everyone feel a necessity to hide under a grey veil of deception, our true beings are decorated with lies.... No one ever just tells how they feel from the start it's all a guessing game, and I'm sick of that shit, from now on in my game I play by my rules, honesty no matter how much it hurts, is the best policy. At this point I'd date a guy who told me he loved me but couldn't promise he wouldn't cheat just for he honest, just to know I'm good enough to ask out.
I just can't get him out of my head, the pain is back, I missed it so... and can't tell why
Only strangers love m, the closer they get the less they like |
|
|
| C is for Crunk |
[juil. 31e, 2005|04:46 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | I do both Jay and Jane | ] |
So, I'm a complete fucktard, I feel like an idiot, I got plastered, when I swore I wouldnt... and ended up making out with everything near me, male... female, whether they liked it or not, then started going into a psychotic babble of all those little things I'd never say otherwise.... I feel like shit, though I've vommited a millio times I still fel more... AND I can find my camera eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek, but did I get caught NO hehehehehehe
P.S. I <3 me hookah |
|
|
| A grave mistake caused by a flake |
[juil. 26e, 2005|05:36 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | curious | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Shakespear's Sister | ] |
HEHE I ove Shayne so much, he made me a silly pic. of our trip to Vegas!
Oh yeah now everyone wants to go, such a cool add! |
|
|
| Momma Ima gonna be a showgirl!... |
[juil. 20e, 2005|02:31 am] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Elvis | ] |
So, I just got home from a long trip to Worcester, NYC, L.A., and Vegas.... It was AWESOME.... don't feel like writing about it ask and I'll tell you.... eeek so many great stories, I got my random life back!
So here is a pic. of my house in Mass.
Here is Jeff Goldblum and I!
and HAPPY B-DAY Bryee-Annon! Viva Las Vegas....
 |
|
|
| A broken lullaby made my baby cry.... |
[juil. 1er, 2005|12:50 am] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | bouncy | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Rumble Doll | ] |
IM IN LOVE, and not with a random object, with a boy!!! But, once again... The worst possible one I could choose to fall in love with... but, he makes me so happy....
Actually, I am also in love with a random object... "I love Camera" hehehehe my new CAMERA!!! It's beautiful. I just learned to turn it on.... and, I named it.... Orbacle!!! And it is mine, I love it like a fat kid loves cake, hehehehehe. |
|
|
| If... |
[juin. 25e, 2005|01:35 am] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | curious | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Batboy | ] |
If he were younger, If I were older...
If it were allowed, If we could break the rules...
If it were positive, If I didnt want a negative response...
If.. If... If.... he felt the same...
Every If, Is only If, And so my life remains no ifs, ands or buts... until the end...
"I never had a chance, born looking like a women, I was never a child" |
|
|
| Dead men tell all tales... |
[juin. 20e, 2005|02:06 am] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | The Highway Man | ] |
I loooooooooooooooove Jesse, whom I've randomly bumped into many times lately... Amandita, and my mommy... So, I randomly wanted to shout out to them, at the moment... hehe
[ ] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol
[X] I've run away from home
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3,MP3 cd player
[x] I own something from Hot Topic
[x]I love Disney Movies.
[x] I am a sucker for eyes
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I paid for a cell phone ringtone.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[ ] I cook well.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
[x] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love.
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[X] I am self conscious.
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[x] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[x] loved Go Ask Alice.
[x]I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I've been out of this country.
[x] I believe in ghosts/spirits.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[ ] I am comfortable with being me.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship
[x] I've gotten lost in my own city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star
[x] Been to any other countries besides the united states
[x] I Had a serious Surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[x] Kissed a Stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger
[x] Been in a fist fight
[ ] Been arrested
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] Made out in an elevator
[x] Swore at your parents
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] Been to a casino
[ ] Been skydiving
[x] Broken a bone (lmao it wasnt mine)
[x] Cried to a friend
[x] Skipped school
[x] Flashed someone
[x] Saw a therapist
[x] Done a split
[x] Played spin the bottle
[x] Gotten stitches
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] Bitten someone
[x] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Kissed a member of the same sex no tongue
[x] Crashed into a friend's car (but I wasnt in a car hehe)
[ ] Been to Japan
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Shoplifted
[x] Been fired
[x] Stole something from your job
[x] Been set up by a friend on a date
[x] Lied to a friend
[x] Had a crush on a teacher
[x] Celebrated mardigras in New Orleans
[x] Been to Europe
[ xxx hehe] Slept with a co-worker
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Had children
[x] Saw someone dying
[ ] Been to Africa
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] Been to Canada
[x]Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[x] Thrown up in a bar
[x] Eaten Sushi
[ ] Been snowboarding
[x] Been Skiing
[x] Met someone in person from the internet
[x] Been to a motocross show
[x] Lost a child( in a store)
[x] Gone to college
[ ] Graduated college
[ ] Done hard drugs
[x] Taken painkillers
[x] Given a lapdance
[x] Had someone cheat on you
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxx] Miss someone right now |
|
|
| Your Memory is like poison in my veins.... |
[juin. 15e, 2005|10:33 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | The Cars | ] |
BATMAN BEGINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, It makes me so happy... it's been out one day and I've seen it twice, Christian Bale, Cillian Murphy... RAWR soooo sexy!!! My fav. comic book character ever finally has an awesome film. I'm aghast, loved it... hehe
Take the quiz: "Which Victoria's Secret Angel are you?"
Adriana Lima
You are wild,crazy,exotic, and love to wear as little as possible!
Take the quiz: "Which celebrity beauty are you? (Pix)"
Angelina Jolie
You are a mysterious beauty. Guys are drawn to you because they want to know more. Your style makes you stand out but lets you be yourself at the same time.
GREEN
??Which colour of Death is yours??
brought to you by Quizilla
Take the quiz: "What kind of eyes do you have? (with pictures)"
Moonlight
You have moonlight eyes. Moonlight is the color of mystery. Your eyes symbolize your ability to see yourself as others see you. You have finesse for letting other people know what you think. You have a soothing and calming ability that you may or may not know about. You have the awesome ability to draw a person's negative energy out and replace it with a positive energy; the world needs more people like you. Some words to describe you: patient, self-controlled, perseverance, insightful, reflective, understanding, serene, and caring. |
|
|
| I'm Half Alive But I Feel Mostly Dead.... |
[juin. 13e, 2005|11:47 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | lost | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Comfortably Numb | ] |
Lately, I have felt extremely sexually and romantically anorexic, it's like I cant complain about not having a guy, and never having guy... because I don't want one, well I do, but he is not real, no one alive can live up to the guy I've created in my head, and every time I think someone has, I'm not the girl they want... even though they think I'm "perfect". Ahhhhhhhhhhh, I don't know I'm rambling, but I feel lonely, like I need something I'll never get. I feel like I don't know who I am, I'm whoever ppl want m to e, changing for everyone... the things I do and say are only true for the moment and will change as the day progresses and the ppl surrounding me shift.... I just want to feel alive, not like I'm supposed to be this because I look like that, I want to be okay with my weight, and accept a guy as I want him to accept me.... |
|
|
| I break the yolks and make a smiley face... |
[juin. 11e, 2005|11:38 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | My cell ringing as I ignore a call... | ] |
Quote from tonight-
David-(As white ball almost goes in another whole directly after scratch)
"Don't try to put it in a 2nd hole!"
Chynna- "I'm sure your told that a lot"
hehehehehehehehehe... well, it was funny at the time!
Ewww I got horribly sick yesterday, I was in soooo much pain... puking everywhere! It was real attractive, but I felt better today so, I saw HIGH TENSION with my Brother and Father, it was really good... very french with boobs and blood, hehe... then I hung-out at sunset, first with Fabi as we searched for Lauren and Shelby, but then we found Frechie (yay, my love) who was with... vagina nose Matt, and that whole group... so, when they left to the park I met up with my amandita, and we wanted to play pool so, at Gameworks we met up with David (David-Alex-Alex-David) and Jose, we played pool and Amandita and I kicked ass in the saddest game ever!!! I saw Ilan, who changed his hair, it's coo... and then, Amanda and I filled out surveys in which I am a black 67 year old pregnant male, and she is asian other... "PRINCE is my IDOL"... and the rest is a blur..........
You Are 20% Normal
(Occasionally Normal)
|
You sure do march to your own beat...
But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all
You think on a totally different wavelength
And it's often a chore to get people to understand you |
Even the comp. thinks I'm weird....
What You Really Think Of Your Friends
|
Rosie is your soulmate. |
| You truly love Amandita. |
| You consider Frenchie your true friend. |
| You know that Danny is always thinking of you. |
| You'll remember Ralph for the rest of your life. |
| You secretly think Thais is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. |
| You secretly think that Fabi is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. |
| You secretly think that Marie is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Marie changes lovers faster than underwear. |
| You secretly think David is shy and nonconfrontational. And that David has a hidden internet romance. |
Awww aint dat sweet!!!
| Your IQ Is 135 | 
Your Logical Intelligence is Exceptional
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius
Your General Knowledge is Genius |
LMAO I lack logic, yet somehow did well, in math.....?!?!?!?!?! Verbal and General, not surprising ... Daughter of an author and encyclopedia of useless info. |
|
|
| A mile away in someone else's shoes.... |
[juin. 10e, 2005|02:16 am] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| |  sore | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | "I'M A BITCH, I'M A LOVER, I'M A CHILD..." | ] |
So, today was cool, went to the show at super wheels with Amandita, Smurf, Marie, Danny, Cesar, and I finally met Chantal (sry cant spell), which was cool, she's adorable... contagious giggle. The show was cool, Carter Beats The Devil makes me happy, so does owning Danny at air hockey, I finally feel like I have friends, but somethings still missing, I just... so much shit... I just wanna run away... g2g my tummy hurts!?!?!? |
|
|
| Some things you lose, some you give away... |
[juin. 7e, 2005|10:27 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Jack off Jill | ] |
Running on empty, I gave all I had to give...
Frozen in time, I don't remember how to live...
You were my sun, moon, stars, world combined,
and you left me for what you'd never find,
Hearts their fragile, they break everyday,
but when you fly with broken wings, you live for today...
and you who said you'd never hurt me,
called the pain I'd felt crimes against beauty,
a betrayal to majesty, you hurt me most of all,
and when you saw my blood stained tears,
you beat me with all my fears,
How can you compliment me so... then leave me for the wolves,
The hungry wolves that consume what was left of my tattered and torn wings... |
|
|
| (pas de sujets) |
[juin. 2e, 2005|06:03 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Scissor Sisters | ] |
SUMMMMMMER is here! lol and I actually passed! Yesterday was great a good way to say goodbye to a horible school year.... After school Kristen, Ralph, Nina, Miah, Edward, and I went to south beach.... we ate at Quiznos and it began to rain so we had to dodge it using three umbrella's... so silly. Then, we attempted to start a bonfire on th beach i the rain... wasnt happening.. To dry off we found a Landromat, crazy shit man.. pure american teenage fun hehe... everyone got naked and amused ourselves i our own individual ways, when the rain subsided... we went back to the beach to create our bonfire, now with Ariel and shia, it was crazy fun with all my make-up and renu (which didnt work) in it... Nina, and Ralph put the fire out with 2 fire extinguishers while I ran int the fumes to get the umbrella which was not mine... craziness... Later, Miah, Edward and I hit sunset while meeting strangers and long unseen familiar faces... it was great fun. Miah spent the night and we are both official myspace whores!
Jessica Rabbit
Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
brought to you by Quizilla
Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz
You are an Exotic Dancer. You are the sexy lady in
the group, you love to play with people's
minds, you never show your true intents to
anyone, you like to have a lot of friends so
you don't get bored and this goes the same with
men, you don't like the strict guy who gives
you orders like he owns you, nobody does, cuz
you were born free and nothing would change
that.
What kind of dancers are you? (Girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla |
|
|
| Love's an illusive charm, Don't it astound you?.... |
[mai. 29e, 2005|09:03 pm] |
| [ | Humeur actuelle |
| | worried | ] |
| [ | Musique actuelle |
| | Nirvana- Rape Me | ] |
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I don't know what to do, I got so fucked up off these lil white pills and I don't even know what they were... and I made a complete ass out of myself on fri. night. I feel like the past I've tried so hard to forget is rising from the dead, and it's fuckin scary. I'm going back to the girl I've tried so hard to kill, to erase from my personal history... I am so pathetic... I really have no friends, and the ones I did have hate me. I'm so jealous of everyone and it hurts. It physically hurts. I'm scared, that no matter what I'll be alone. I'm sry if I hurt you, but your tears are not as heavy as mine. I want my life back, I'll do anything... and, you know the ironic thing... ppl love me to my face and hate me to my back, I'm told I'm beautiful, and funny, and an awesome person, but if that were true I would'nt be alone.....
I wish I could fall asleep and dream forever, but instead I have insomnia.... |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
porcelainskye55